


The Revealing Mirror

by Romennim



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Episode Related, Episode Tag, Established Relationship, M/M, Mind Meld, Minor Violence, Mirror Universe, Multi, POV First Person, Telepathic Bond, Telepathy, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-24
Updated: 2013-01-24
Packaged: 2017-11-26 17:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/652926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romennim/pseuds/Romennim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What McCoy and Mirror!Spock learnt of each other's universe during their meld in the episode "Mirror, mirror".</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Revealing Mirror

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Italiano available: [Lo Specchio Rivelatore](https://archiveofourown.org/works/652929) by [Romennim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romennim/pseuds/Romennim)



> A huge 'thank you' to [](http://1lostone.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://1lostone.livejournal.com/) **1lostone**  for her beta work e her unfailing patience while I stressed her out :)  
> This story is dedicated to [](http://rei-hino88.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://rei-hino88.livejournal.com/)**rei_hino88** for her endless faith in me and because, without her, I wouldn't have had the idea for this story **.**

As soon as the transporter room reappears before my eyes, I let my gaze wander around to be sure we're again where we are supposed to be.

My gaze locks with dark brown eyes. The eyes of that beloved, and now feared, face.

I froze.

 

“Bones, Bones! Are you okay?”

 

An eyebrow rises at my silence.

I rush for the door.  
  
  
  
 _10 minutes before, more or less, I.S.S. Enterprise_

 

Dark brown eyes open suddenly. The same eyes that less than a day before... But there's a hard glint in this gaze to which I'm not used to. Not anymore. I realize that I shouldn't still be here.

 

_Oh, shit._

 

Spock – _no, not Spock, not Spock_ \- begins slowly to sit up on the biobed, his gaze fixed on my face. His expression is hard, totally unreadable.

Among the pang at the umpteenth realization that he's not like our Spock at all, there's the fear of what the people of this universe are capable of doing. Even him.

I'm completely frozen on the spot.

 

His movements are still very slow, measured, as if not wanting to scare off a prey. As if he wants to gain its trust.

The sudden grip of his hand on my arm makes me painfully aware of where I am again.

 

_Good God, how stupid I am! I should have tried to run away as soon as he opened his eyes._

 

Useless now, totally useless to muse what…

 

The grip on my arm tightens and pain flares in the front of my mind, pain is all I can think of. I fight to keep from moaning out loud.

 

“Why did the Captain let me live?”

 

The tone is firm, if a bit hurried. It commands total attention and, even if my brain is aware of the danger, it refuses to work: fear and uncertainty and sorrow – _he's so much like him_ – are blocking completely my ability to speak, to think.

He tugs at my arm, but I cannot think. My heart is beating wildly and blood is pumping furiously in my head.

 

He stands up and begins to move slowly again reminding me of a predator. Every step towards me is a step I take to back away from him. But, suddenly, my back is against the wall. I'm trapped.

 

_Dear God, and now?_

 

With his right hand still gripping my arm, he reaches for my face with his left hand and, as I understand what he's about to do, another, more powerful, wave of fear and panic rushes through me.

 

_No, this can't, CAN'T happen! What if he got to the..._

 

“Our minds are merging, Doctor.”

 

I try to calm my heart and myself, calm myself enough to do what Spock – _my, my Spock_ \- taught me. I should have enough time, since I don't feel the other Spock's presence in my mind yet. It's quite strange that he didn't just go in as his hand touched my face.

 

_Why? If they're so cruel, why...? It's like... A warning? A warning of what he's about to do? It doesn't make sense..._

 

“Our minds are one.”

 

I still hear his voice on the physical level, but I begin to sense his presence at the edge of my mind. He seems like a distant thought, slowly and steadily advancing to my consciousness. Again, his slow approach astonishes me. He shouldn't be so considerate, from what I gathered about this universe so far.

But I'm not about to trust him from what he does or what he doesn't do.

 

“I feel what you feel.”

 

Everything in my mind is in place, and I wait for what is about to happen. I hope my Spock was right about what he said. I don't want to create problems for Jim now. The ship needs to have his Captain back.

 

 _Dear God, I should have convinced them of the insanity of this.._.

 

“I know what you know.”

 

Then I feel it, a strong presence prodding near the centre of my consciousness, searching for something.

Immediately a sense of danger pervades my mind and..

 

SLAM.  
  
  
  
 _3 months before, more or less, U.S.S. Enterprise_

 

“God, Spock! I can't believe what has just come out of your mouth!”

 

Jim's tone is frustrated and angry at the same time.

Spock is standing stiffly in front of his commanding officer, not making eye contact with anyone.

I feel pity for him, but it's not surprising Jim is upset right now. If I were in his shoes, I would be totally pissed. Not that I'm feeling something gentle towards Spock right now. After all, my and Jim's concerns are more than valid.

 

“Jim, could you, please, let me finish?”

 

To most people, Spock's tone must be totally devoid of inflection, but to my trained ears it's not; there's just a bit of frustration in it.

 

Jim just waves his hand to tell him to go on.

 

“As I was saying, while I didn't predict a bond of such force, there is a way to prevent side effects that can be dangerous in dire situations.”

 

Jim laughs, not in a very pleasant way.

 

“That can be dangerous??” he almost shouts. “I just learnt that if a strong enough telepath attacks me or you or Bones, any one of us can be incapacitated through this bond! In your opinion, what should I think about that? We have responsibilities, Spock! To this ship. To its crew! You should have told us before, before all of this happened!”

 

The shouting stops and it is as if all the force of his anger flows quickly out of him. He sags on the couch beside me, putting his head in his hands and sighing loudly, and I almost feel his exhaustion. I put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze softly. I know how he loathes shouting and being angry with Spock, but this time it was inevitable. Spock should have told us about this possibility. It seems that the unpredictability of our being human and of our relationship has stricken once again: not even Spock could have predicted such a strong bond between us.

 

I raise my gaze to meet Spock's eyes and I made a gesture towards Jim. Spock nods imperceptibly and moves towards us, stopping right in from of Jim.

Crouching down, he cups Jim's head in his hands to make him lift his gaze.

They stare into each other's eyes and I don't even feel left out from their connection: there's such intensity in the accuracy and slowness of Spock's movement and in their eyes right now.

 

“Jim” he begins, his voice low and deep. “I did not know of the bond’s effects. I should have expected that you and Leonard would surprise me once again.” here he smiles a little. “But you should know I would never put the ship at risk. There is a way, trust me.”

 

He swallows, waiting for Jim's response. I squeeze his shoulder again, confident of his answer.

Jim stares at Spock a bit more and then turns to look at me. I just nod. He turns again towards Spock.

He exhales loudly and leans again against the couch, looking at Spock pensively.

 

“Okay, let's hear it.”  
  
  
After Spock's explanation, the only thing I can think is: _that's totally insane_.

But, grimacing, I also realize that's the only way.  
  
  
  
 _The present, minus 8 minutes, more or less, I.S.S. Enterprise_

 

The first thing I am aware of when I regain control of my mind is the utter shock that surrounds my shields. Shock that is not mine.

 

_Spock's. OTHER Spock's._

 

I feel a rush of panic.

 

_Did he manage to...?_

 

In an instant, before he decides to try again, I double-check my shields. Everything seems as it should be.

 

_Oh God, it worked._

 

I can't believe it. My mind really rejected him. I really, _really, successfully_ rejected him.

 

I feel the shock subside and slowly turn in curiosity, but there's still something steely, something dangerous in the approach.

 

I need to concentrate, I can't let myself be distracted while he's still surrounding my mind: it's more than probable that he will try again to force his way.

 

_How?_

 

The thought reaches me, in an undertone of curiosity, frustration and little patience.

 

I don't answer. What could I tell him?

 

_How, Doctor?_

 

The patience is gone.

 

I feel again his mind tugging mine, but this time his method is more accurate, more powerful and careful, as if he's trying to find my weak spots, the dots that connect my careful shields.

Fortunately our Spock tried something like this before, to teach me and Jim how to recognize a skilled attack. The problem has always been that Jim and I are not telepaths, so we can't really free our mind from the presence of another one. We can only prevent someone from getting inside.

 

I apply myself to do it, and I feel my mind slowly turn in itself, crushing first the more external thoughts and then steadily the others, nearing slowly the more personal ones, the ones that make me the person I am. I'm slowly crushing the order of my mind to prevent him from approaching the bond, and consequently, through me, Jim. And, maybe, Spock. How can anyone know how being split up in parallel universes is affecting our bond?

 

This Spock must have realized what I'm doing because suddenly I hear a cry in my mind.

 

_Cease!_

 

I stop and, frozen, I distantly feel the stress – and pain – my mind feels now that I'm not concentrating on my task.

 

_Stop! I will desist. Do not go further in destroying your mind._

 

I don't know what to reply.

 

_How, Doctor?_

 

Silence.

 

And then I hear something I didn't think I would ever hear in this mad universe.

 

_Please, Doctor._

 

I dare to send him a thought, letting it leak through my shields.

 

_What?_

 

I feel a bit of relief.

 

 _Why relief?_ I think to myself.

 

_How do you know the technique of kashkau plesh-tor?_

 

Spock, obviously, told us the name of this thing, but for the life of me I was never able to memorize it. Fortunately, hearing the name of the term always jogs my memory.

Anyway, answering that thought would entail opening my mind more. I can't risk that. I have to honor Jim's – and Spock's – trust.

 

This Spock must have come to the same conclusion.

I feel a moment of indecision, of deep thought on his part.

It's always interesting seeing Spock's mind work and realize he, too, has moments when he doesn't know what to do.

 

_I believe it is logical to assume you are not the doctor who is usually on this ship; I know for sure he does not know the kashkau plesh-tor. He does not even know how to defend his mind at a basic level._

 

A pause.

 

 _Whoever you are, I need to know..._ he trails off.

 

It's strange. I'm not used to a Spock so uncertain.

 

_I need to know about the Captain._

 

Now that for the moment I don't need to protect my mind, I let myself feel what before was buried under the fear, the panic, the stress, the concentration: my curiosity. Too many things in this whole situation just aren’t adding up.

 

 _Why?_ I send him.

 

A flare of anger and a bit of fear are my only answer for a moment. Then, he tries to regain control of his emotions. He seems less used than our Spock to control his internal manifestations.

 

_I do not want to find myself in the position of... Of actually having to kill him, Doctor._

 

Now it's my turn to feel surprise.

So we were wrong. He's not as uncaring as we thought he was.

But can I really trust him with my mind to let him know? With still so little evidence?

 

I send him another brief thought.

 

_Prove it._

 

I almost hear him sigh.

And then memories are in my head.

 

_After Captain Pike's assassination, the certainty of being the next, because everyone mistakes your obedience, your not-will of moving up in the rank for a weakness, for loyalty to him, even if it is just unwillingness to have more command, because you are satisfied with your position of Science Officer. You know that before you can acquire more guards, Kirk will have already eliminated you too._

 

_And then the utter shock of Number One's suspicious dismissal and your promotion to First Officer._

_Your dismay at realizing that from now on you would need to play an even more dangerous game to stay alive and your confusion at Kirk's move._

 

_“Why did he do it?”_

 

_And then he is in front of you and you cannot understand the look in his eyes... Calculation, a bit of danger and amusement, but not regarding you... Him telling you to take more guards, that he does not want to lose one of the best scientists in the whole Empire before having tested him._

_Your confusion that just deepens._

 

Then a blur of missions and abilities tested and the birth of a minimal trust and then...

 

_And then he is in front of you blocking Lieutenant Kerh's attempt on your life._

_After, he will say that there was no danger for him, but you know it is not true. That he, in reality, could have risked his life._

_And again your question._

_“Why did he do it?”_

_And then the Pon Farr..._

 

Now the stream of memories stops abruptly.

 

_No, I cannot show you this._

 

Even in this universe that is too private. Or maybe more so because of the show of the state of weakness Pon Farr causes to Vulcans.

Since he hasn't lied to me so far – Spock taught us the little nuances that prove, in a mental contact like a meld, that someone is showing us real memories or thoughts, since faked images have different texture from the real ones, however well done – I decide to just ask.

 

_What happened? I know what Pon Farr is._

 

Maybe that information will ease his answer.

 

_Nearing my Time, since my control of my mind was slowly slipping, through our bond, T'Pring tried to control me in order to make me assassinate my Captain, so I would be arrested and then condemned to death._

 

I can't not ask.

 

_Why?_

 

A trace of amusement against my shields.

 

_Even if assassination is the way to move up in rank, the official reason is never that. If you are caught in your attempt, or there are evidences against you, you are convicted and executed, Doctor._

_God, that woman is a menace in every universe._

 

In my rightful indignation I should have been more engrossed in Spock's story than I realized because almost immediately another wave of amusement reaches me.

 

_Indeed she was, Doctor._

 

I can't help my curiosity now.

 

_So, what happened?_

 

A moment of silence.

 

_My Captain must have understood what was happening, because, after a ridiculous attempt on his life on my part, he sedated and locked me in my quarters. The first thing I was aware about once awake was that my bond to T'Pring was no longer present._

I'm stunned.

 

_How did he..._

 

No, first a more pressing matter.

 

_How did you survive Pon Farr then?_

 

Silence and then reticence.

 

_Doctor..._

 

God, I could smack myself. If Kirk, even in the first days, didn't want to lose him, then after they had worked together and had known each other for some time, he wouldn't have been able to stand the idea either, maybe even more so...

 

_Okay, no need to answer that._

_Do you need more evidences, Doctor?_

 

I think for a moment. Until the Pon Farr's part, those memories just proved, at maximum, dedication on Kirk's part, not Spock's. But it's true, though, that he said that his attempt on Kirk's life during Pon Farr was ridiculous.

 

_You didn't want to do it, did you?_

 

Another silence, more reticence.

 

 _Oh, please,_ I scoff towards him, _there's no need to hide your loyalty to him from me._

 

A moment and then.

 

_I know, Doctor._

Another pause.

 

_No, I did not want to do it. As I did not want to follow my orders today._

 

Too much information all of a sudden.

 

_You... You trust me in this universe?_

 

Puzzlement from him.

 

_Doctor, I do not know about the relationship you have with my counterpart in your universe, but the McCoy of this universe is the only person I trust, to a certain extent, aside from the Captain. And the Captain trusts him too._

I'm speechless... Or, should I say, thoughtless.

So some things are the same in every universe. Here too there is a replication of the structure of our relationship, even if in a much less personal way.

 

But there's another thing I don't understand.

 

_If in the past Kirk's tried in every way not to harm you, why did you ask me why he let you live?_

_Doctor..._

 

I feel something that seems suspiciously like a mental sigh.

 

_Even if there is an amount of trust between us, I cannot trust him totally. Particularly when he begins to act differently and takes important decisions without explaining his reasoning to me. He has never done it. Not since my Time. As the McCoy of this universe is so fond of saying, what should you have thought if you were in my shoes today?_

Logical. Jim's more peaceful and unusual disposition must have confused him a lot. Especially when Jim didn't explain him his actions and those actions clearly went against the Empire's orders.

During my musings, I feel his curiosity – and frustration – growing.

 

_Will you tell me now?_

 

Hopefully not doing a huge mistake, I reply.

 

_I will, but if you try again to reach the centre of my mind, I will destroy it. Is it clear?_

_Abundantly clear, Doctor._

 

With some apprehension I begin to relax my shields, letting leak some memories.

I replay the whole mission to the Halkans' planet and how, when beaming up, we found ourselves in this strange and terrifying parallel universe.

As soon as I finish my account, I realize, though, that his curiosity is not satisfied at all. I feel also some urgency.

He senses my perplexity because he answers immediately.

 

_The account of your mission explains why the Captain is so different; your universe has not the same principles as ours._

That's an understatement if I ever heard one.

 

_But it did not explain how you are so apt in mental shielding... Or how you know the kashkau plesh-tor. And we do not have a large amount of time before I need to take you to the transporter room if we want you to go back to your own universe._

 

Panic suddenly surges in me.

How could I have forgotten about it? How much time do I still have?

Spock's voices reaches through my anxiety.

 

_Doctor, calm yourself. In the physical reality, since I began our meld, just a minute has passed._

 

Oh, sweet _God_.

 

I can never tell how much time passes in a meld, I'm not even aware of it a little bit: it's like being half asleep, when you can never tell if a minute or two hours have passed... You just know it's happened.

 

_Please, let me go._

 

Uncertainty, an overwhelming curiosity.

 

_Doctor, please. Just let me know this and I will let you go. I promise you that there is sufficient time._

 

The sincerity is coming in waves from him and to myself I think that there's no harm if I let him know how things are in my universe. Rather the contrary, instead. Maybe seeing how things could be can help them in their trust problems.

 

 _Okay,_ I relent.

 

I drop some of the less necessary shields, just the smaller amount possible to show him something that will accelerate my explanation.

 

Shock.

 

_You are bonded._

 

_Yes._

 

I let, through the remaining shields, the most meaningful memories.

 

_Your first encounter, after you beamed on the ship, meeting your new Captain, younger than you, with a smile that illuminates the whole room, and soon after the First Officer, the famous first Vulcan to have ever joined Starfleet, that looks at you very seriously and tells you he is looking forward to working with such a famous physician._

_And then the missions, one after the other, where alternatively they save you or you save them with your hands and your treatments._

_There are the quiet nights where the Captain, no, Jim, as he insists to be called off duty, comes to your quarters to talk about Earth and books and what he should have done to save someone._

_And there are the experiments that the First Officer calmly asks you to take part in, and some nights are spent that way, talking about that treatment that didn't go as it was supposed to go and how metadonic radiations can affect telepaths._

_But there are also the fights when you think the Captain is doing something wrong and you border in being insubordinate and there is the intense arguing with a being that professes to be emotionless, but demonstrates with all he does logically that he is not._

_And there's the building and the deepening of a relationship with one that can't be whole without the other, because between a mission and a disaster, there are the moments where you three meet to let yourself leave behind what you could and what you couldn't do. Sometimes you do it discussing a book, sometimes planning a new experiment, sometimes just doing three different things, but you three existing and breathing in the same space._

_And then the inevitable conclusion, that is also a beginning. Because, thinking back about what has happened, where else could all that have led you to?_

_Only on that planet, forming a bond with those two persons you already can't imagine your life without._

I decide to not let him see the argument we had about the possible side-effects of the bond. If he's half as intelligent as our Spock, he will know what my shields mean.

 

There's a moment when I can't sense anything from him.

 

_That was... Unexpected._

 

A pause.

 

_You are bonded to both of them and your Spock is able to maintain a constant connection among the three of you. Impressive. That also explains why you know the technique of the kashkau plesh-tor... To prevent a telepath from being dangerous to the other two if one of you is attacked. Impressive._

 

We must have really surprised him.

But I'm curious too.

He has sensed it and I feel him turning a bit in himself, probably thinking of what to tell me.

 

_The dynamic of your relationship is interesting. I don't know if that will aid me in something, but I will surely take your experience into account._

A pause.

 

_I am honored that you shared your memories with me. You live in a... I will use one of Doctor McCoy's expressions, and I think you will agree with me. You live in a fortunate universe, Doctor._

I almost feel the whole depth of his regret.

 

_Now I must take you to the transporter room._

 

The end of the meld – one so intense – leaves me disoriented and probably just Spock's grip on my arm makes me stay upright. He gently, but steadily, leads me through the door.  
  
  
  
 _The present, U.S.S. Enterprise_

 

As soon as I arrive in my quarters, I go into the bathroom. With trembling hands I wash my face and then grip the bathroom counter, trying to regulate my breathing.

It's irrational, I know, but my brain hasn't still caught up the fact that I'm home again. And that Spock is my Spock, not the other... And that this, this Spock is not dangerous at all. Not even one bit. This Spock is my bond-mate.

 

I hear the door open and two sets of feet coming into my room. I can almost imagine Jim's concerned look and Spock's stiff posture.

 

I gather myself and go out.

 

They're indeed waiting for me as I pictured them.

 

Jim takes a step towards me, looking me from head to toe, as if searching for injuries.

I smile a little.

 

“I'm okay, Jim.”

 

He looks at my face, unconvinced.

 

“It didn’t look like you were okay a few minutes ago, Bones.”

 

I look into his eyes, before replying.

 

“I'm really okay, Jim.”

 

I drop my shields to let them both know, through the bond, that I'm sincere.

The deep relief I sense coming from Spock makes me look at him, a question in my eyes.

 

“Jim told me you have been alone for an amount of time with my counterpart.”

 

My puzzlement is easy to sense for both of them.

Spock just raises one of his eyebrows, in the way he does to let us know we're not being very sharp and the answer is right in front of us.

But this day has been awful and I'm tired, after all that mental exercise: I don't have enough strength to be smart and connect the dots right now.

 

“My counterpart is a telepath.”

 

I take the remaining step and I understand he was worried for me, worried that maybe his counterpart has attacked me mentally and that the strong shielding meant I was trying to not let my injured state affect them.

 

Suddenly, thinking about his counterpart and Spock's reference to him reminds me of the other Spock's last thought to me.

 

I let myself smile and Spock moves near me, brushing lightly with his hand my meld-points, as Jim leaves a soft kiss at the corner of my mouth.

 

_You live in a fortunate universe, Doctor._

_Indeed I do, Mister Spock._

**Author's Note:**

> Kashkau plesh-tor: destruction of the mind
> 
> \-----
> 
> Originally posted on May 31st, 2010


End file.
